You deserve access to support.
Help, information, and tools — whether or not you ever purchase anything from this site.
This page exists to help you find options, understand what you may be dealing with, and navigate next steps in a way that respects your safety, autonomy, and capacity.
If something feels wrong or unsafe, you do not need to prove it to seek help.
If you need immediate help
Contact local emergency services if you are in immediate danger.
If you are in the United States or Puerto Rico, you can also contact:
National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (7233) · thehotline.org
24/7 confidential support, chat, and safety planning.
RAINN — National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-HOPE (4673) · rainn.org
Confidential support and local referrals.
If you are outside the U.S., local crisis resources can usually be found through your country's public health services or domestic violence advocacy organizations. If calling feels unsafe, many of these services offer chat-based options.
How the toolkits fit with support services
The toolkits on this site are designed to help you organize information, assess risk, and think more clearly when stress makes decision-making harder.
They are not a replacement for therapy or counseling, legal advice, advocacy services, or emergency intervention. They are meant to support your process — not replace your support system.
Many people use the toolkits to:
- Prepare for appointments
- Organize timelines and documentation
- Clarify safety concerns
- Reduce cognitive overload between support contacts
Understanding what you may be experiencing
Many survivors minimize or question their own experiences, especially when harm does not fit common stereotypes. Some patterns that often cause confusion include:
- Coercive control without physical violence
- Intermittent kindness mixed with harm
- Escalation after separation
- Monitoring, surveillance, or digital harassment
- Financial or legal manipulation
You do not need to label your situation in order to deserve support or protection. If something feels destabilizing, threatening, or controlling, that alone is worth taking seriously.
Safety planning — what it is and isn't
Safety planning does not mean you must leave immediately, involve police, confront anyone, or be certain about what's happening.
Real-world safety planning is flexible and adaptive. It often includes:
- Monitoring risk over time
- Identifying escalation patterns
- Preparing quietly
- Stabilizing emotionally and logistically
You are allowed to prioritize safety and clarity even if you are not ready for major decisions.
External support organizations
The following types of organizations may be helpful depending on your situation. Availability varies by location.
Advocacy & survivor support
Domestic violence advocacy organizations, sexual assault crisis centers, survivor peer support groups, and victim assistance programs. Advocates can help with safety planning, court accompaniment, referrals to housing and financial aid, and emotional support during legal processes.
Legal assistance
Legal aid organizations, domestic violence legal clinics, family law self-help centers, and victim compensation programs. These services may help with protective orders, housing and employment rights, immigration concerns, and crime victim compensation.
Trauma-informed mental health care
Look for providers who specifically list trauma-informed care, PTSD or complex trauma experience, or survivor-centered approaches. Helpful directories include Psychology Today (filter by trauma and insurance), local community mental health centers, and survivor advocacy organizations with referral lists.
Digital safety & privacy
If you are concerned about monitoring or surveillance, resources may include stalkerware detection tools, device safety checks, privacy protection guides, and social media safety settings. Advocacy organizations often provide guidance on protecting digital privacy in unsafe situations.
Project collaborators
The following professionals are project collaborators whose work directly aligns with the framework offered here. Their materials and services may be useful alongside the toolkits.
Therapist · Author
Kate Mageau, LMHC
Author of Rose Colored Glasses and the Healing from Toxic Relationships Workbook.
Kate is a licensed therapist whose work focuses on emotional abuse, toxic relationships, and survivor healing. Her books, online course, and coaching offer education and exercises that complement the structural decision-support tools in The Abuse Survivor's Toolbox. She also offers online therapy in Washington and Florida, ADHD and autism assessments, and continuing education trainings for clinicians.
Free tools on this site
If you would like a free way to begin, two no-purchase tools are available:
- Calm Before Clarity — a short reset for when everything feels urgent
- Personal Safety Snapshot — a structured scan of stability, support, and risk
Structured planning tools
If you would find structured worksheets helpful, three toolkits are available. Each can be used independently and alongside professional support.
The Clarity Toolkit
For organizing complex information and supporting decisions under cognitive overload.
Learn more →The Safety Toolkit
For assessing risk, preparing exit options, and stabilizing during ongoing or uncertain harm.
Learn more →The Agency Toolkit
For rebuilding autonomy, boundaries, and intentional direction after control.
Learn more →View the full toolkit series →
Survivors deserve to be met where they are.
DISCLAIMER: The resources on this site are provided for educational and informational purposes only. They do not constitute legal advice, medical advice, or mental health treatment, and are not a substitute for working with qualified professionals when appropriate. If you are in immediate danger, contact local emergency services or a trusted crisis resource right away.